Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Day 58

One time, I saw the worst play in the world. It was called War Horse. The lead actor attempted a lower class cockney accent and ended up sounding like he had a learning disability, the dad was terrible at slurring his speech and sounded more like a stroke victim than a drunkard, and the play was about horses! Maybe my dislike for horses makes me slightly prejudiced, but I can honestly say that I walked into that theater with an open mind, and I left unsatisfied. I just absolutely could not relate to the weird, exaggerated relationship that the "slow" country boy had with his horse. It was ridiculous, but there were at least 3 theatrical gems hidden in there.

1. When the young puppet horse dramatically broke into pieces, and a larger puppet horse majestically emerged to gallop around the stage.

2. The horse fight between Top Thorne(the black horse) and Joey(the slow kid's horse). The puppets were taking bites out of each other in an epic battle for leadership.

3. The slow kid is now blind and has cerebral palsy, but he's found his horse. Joey looks like he's about to eat him, but lifts him up and carries him home instead. It was really moving.

It was, in all seriousness, the weirdest thing I have ever seen in my life. I would rather watch the Legacy High School Broadway Review once a day for the rest of my life, than sit through that show again. (If you've never seen the Broadway Review, ask my mom for the DVD. Then you'll understand the horror of War Horse completely.) So if you're ever in London, don't see War Horse, see Hair Spray instead.

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